Monday, July 28, 2008

My Mormon Patriarchal Blessing

Ok so let me see if I can give a quick run down on patriarchal blessings. I don't really feel like finding and quoting references so I'm going to go from the best of my knowledge and memory. Patriarchal blessings are usually given to "worthy" teenagers or young adults. The main purpose of a patriarchal blessing is to give you your ancient lineage, or in other words, tell you which tribe (of the 12 tribes of Israel) that you belong to. They usually include promises of blessings if you live your life in accordance to church teachings. They are given by a Patriarch, a man ordained just to give these blessings or revelations as they seem to be. Much of what is included is very general, some specific, all of which is FAKE. To receive the blessing you must meet with your church leader to make sure you are "worthy" and "ready" to receive this blessing. It's very hard to explain to a non mormon but it's almost as if its looked at a fortune telling blessing you are entitled to. You are not supposed to share your patriarchal blessing, it is supposed to be very personal and private. I however, obviously think it is complete bullshit. That is why I have posted my original blessing below, just to give people an Idea of how assinine they actually are.

Click the images to enlarge and see full version.


22 comments:

Elder Joseph said...

Just noticed the newer post on the PB...
Just discovered your blog the other day.
cheers

ex-mormon 1 said...

Just came across your blog, thank you for this latest post, it was interesting to see the actual printed blessings. I grew up LDS but lost faith before getting a patriarchal blessing. I have long suspected they were vague and probably like a template with the correct name dropped in, and sure enough that's what it looks like. I'm sure you are going to piss some people off by posting copies of it, but hey, if it's the real deal there's nothing to fear, right? I hope you keep posting.

Anonymous said...

Ah man this is great! These "blessings" are so dumb. And so full of "mormon cliches". "Goodly parents". That one always kills me. The whole big debate on whether goodly parents actually means they were good parents or just plain wealthy. And yet just like in your paper there it's used as a "ah this is so spiritual and wonderful" thing. No one even knows what it really means. I love mormon cliches. I think you should do a post on them. :) My favorite was one my dad gave me a few months ago, with his grave fatherly look he says "eternity is a long time- where do you want to spend it?" (I'm relatively new in beginning my descent out of the church. I too went on a mission etc etc.) Or another favorite. "How can you afford to pay tithing?" Answer: "How can I afford not to?" They are made to sound so profound, but require no thinking at all. It's all programmed responses. My my I could go on and on. I just got a good laugh out of this post.

Nicklas said...

I'm sorry you feel the way you do. I was raised in the Church, didn't follow the teachings as I became a teenager and left the Church because I didn't want to be a hypocrite. At 24, after a lot of questions and prayer, I came to believe and now, at 33 know for myself that it isn't bullshit. It is true. But I can't prove it to you just like you can't prove it is false. Too bad you are so hurt that you have to try to tear it down. Whether or not you realize what you are fighting against, I hope you can find peace enough to stop focusing on your past.

Anonymous said...

Nicklas: IF grace only applies after you are faithful how do you ever know you can ever do enough?
That's too bad you overlook the bible . Why even have the bible in your church if the major portions of doctrine in the book of mormon (and other mormon scriptures) contradict it? If the B.O.M and the bible flesh so well together why would the bible have scriptures that clash with the beliefs outlined in your documents of faith?

Diablito said...

Sorry to break it to you but the bible is a worthless piece of crap just like the book of mormon. Shit, if it was 2 ply and a little softer I might just wipe my ass with it.

Anonymous said...

I am currently in the process of leaving the LDS faith, on a intellectual basis. I grew up Mormon, and finished serving as a LDS missionary in Philadelphia for two years.
It's funny how living and thinking on your own can enlighten your life so much. When you seriously study all religions you will find that they are all nothing but man-made and there is no God. It's really simple actually.
I feel bad for anyone raised in the church who has doubts about it. My whole social structure is built on Mormons. All my friends are Mormon, all my family is Mormon, and almost everyone else I know is to. This hasn't been easy and more then a few times I think of going back, but after you learn the things I have, you can't go back. You can never go back...
Good luck to those who are questioning their religion. Don't take anything for granted. Find out for yourself.

Anonymous said...

I really think you may just need to read your patriarticle blessing again. I don't know you and I am not here to "preach", I am a convert and have left the church for a few years just to realize I was more depressed and lost then ever before. I don't even know you and that paper gave me the chills. You may want to just read it and think about it. That's a pretty sacred thing, and it's not a template of words because mine doesn't say any of the same things yours does. Not even that I was born of "goodly" parents. Most people leave the church because of a bad experience or being offended. My mother has left completely and has had her name removed from the church records but to this day she never says anything bad about the church itself or the teachings, just the people. And we all know Mormons are some of the most judgemental people EVER which is pretty hypocrytical considering they teach the exact opposite, but I have realized in my days that you can't live your life for other people, it has everything to do with your faith and trust. And if people in the world (obviously there are) really honestly believe there is no God, when you have served a mission and have accepted the gospel, I don't want to even know what lies ahead of you when this life is over. you know what is right and you know what you felt at one point. Anger and frustration from your trials is no reason to take out on the Lord. You chose this life and your trials before you came here, it is now your test to see if you are worthy enough to pass and to keep your word. What's so wrong with that? There are a lot of miracles that have happened in the world and they are not just a coincidense. Trust me I have been where you are and it's not worth the unhappiness. Build a bridge and get over whatever is building up, fall to you knees and ask for help, I promise he won't turn his back on you!! I promise...........

Josh said...

Dear Mr. "Anonymous" (of course)

This is a typical brainwashed mormon rant and I just had to write something. You say you have been where he is now? What makes you think you understand another persons reasoning and choices in life? You do not know he writes on this subject due to unhappiness...do you? Why can some people not accept the fact that some of us find the only "real" spirituality resides within oneself? There is nothing wrong with the fact that you feel the way you do, but telling people to "fall to their knees and ask for help"? and the so seldom used "He wont turn his back on you I promise"??...Dude! It shows your complete undivided loyalty to something made up of mans ability to control another's mind. If you are going to question other people about their beliefs please at the very least, think of something original. God is a word, and an idea, man has created to scare others into working, living, and paying their way more easily through life. Historically it is all fairly easy to understand, Power. Spend some time in the desert of your own mind, you'll be amazed where you find yourself.

Just thoughts,

Josh

Anonymous said...

your blessing has grammatical errors!!

Anonymous said...

I'm a christian...not mormon but I do know a great amount about the LDS religion considering I live in Utah where 94% of people here are LDS including some of my extended family. Although I do know that the LDS church is ran by men and not God and there are many contradictions and false teachings in the LDS Religion. I don't think attacking them like this is going to bring them the simple truth God has to offer. And if you read the bible Jesus did not attack the Gentiles who were the most "religious" people in that time. He told them the truth in a kind but firm way which. Jesus died for our sins and was risen again. And if we accepted that we are saved from our sins simple as that...no temple marriage or baptism is going to get us into heaven. Other wise what was the point in our savior dying for our sins if all we needed were good works temple marriage and baptism. I hate religions they become controlled by men. I love jesus and I consider him to be my life. But I think this website could be represented in a more loving way. Although everything you do say in here is truth. Speak the truth but do it as jesus did. Not with hate in your heart...but love.
-sarahrl3@hotmail.com

paige said...

Just wanted to say, I came across this site after my best friend just read me her patriachal blessing over the phone. I thought it sounded very generic and broad so I decided to google it. I am not mormon, I am not affiliated with any church. I am spiritual, however I think that things like this that map our your life are pretty rediculous. I just wanted to comment and say that your blessing and her blessing had virtually zero similarities. Besides teaching the gospel to people who need it, there were no overlaps whatsoever. I was quite surprised by this -- Maybe they have like 5 templates to chose from. lol. I would be interested to compare multiple blessings from the same patriach man though.

Anonymous said...

josh-
I find it so sad when people do not believe that there is a god. or as you said simple a name or a word. how can you look at all of the beautiful things that surround you and not know it? Even the stars. Nothing so perfect could have been created if it weren't for our loving heavenly father. I sincerely hope that someday you will be able to open your eyes and more importantly your heart to the truth.
As for patriarchal blesings. they are very sacred and they are meant only for the reciever not because it is the same as anybody elses. But because it is a blessing for you straight from your heavenly father and he wants you to respect and cherish it. it can be such a blessing to have it and read it often. I do hope you will learn to remember why we do things in the church.

Unknown said...

Again,another so called blessing system made up by the con man joseph smith. Let me ask all who believe it, Does it remotely even hint about patriarchs in the bible? and i dont mean the false version BOM, Do you honestly think the patriarchs have control over Gods hand? God blesses whom he wills. Anyone saying they are blessed may very well be but it didnt come from God through a ficticious mormon church. Read the Holy Bible and find real power. Stay away from the vision seekers and fortune tellers.

Anonymous said...

I don't understand why you think your patriarcal blessing is a load of crap. When I get one I hope it is nearly as nice and uplifting as that one was. I don't even know the person who's blessing this is but it brought a tear to my eye and I feel sorry for you that you don't believe in it.

SP said...

I came to your blog, because I am being visited by Mormon missionaries. I love them very much; the missionaries that have come into my home are very kind, very caring people. They have asked me to give up smoking and next we are going to talk about the law of chastity. I am having trouble believing that Smith was really a prophet after having read so much about him...that he used a seeing stone, that the language the BOM was in was not a real language, etc. I am just wondering how Mormons gloss over that? Like, what is their reasoning behind reformed Egyptian not being a real language? Also, do you know what the missionaries will do next or how long they plan on coming around and teaching us. I already know I can't be baptized, because I live with my boyfriend and we cannot afford to get married or to separate our household.

Joseph Neri said...

This blessing sounds suspiciously like an elaborate horoscope reading.

Anonymous said...

Mr Barton, it is unfortunate for you to think that this blessing is a generic template. It is very specific to you and quite beautiful and provides warnings which you obviously have ignored. I feel sorry for you and for those valiant ancestors whom you have let down. There is no generic template, ever blessing is different and I have seen the fulfillment of many promises in my own. The apostle Paul was right when he said, "But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned" (1cor 2:14). Most of the comments on this page reflect this point. Susie Potter the Church is exactly what it claims to be and that is the true kingdom of God on Earth. The Book of Mormon is the word of God. It is impossible for Joseph Smith to have made it up. The depth of the language, knowledge of history and names etc, was way beyond what he knew as a poor uneducated farmer. Read Moroni 10:4. The feelings you have when the missionaries are present are from the holy ghost which tells you that it is true. No other force, except the Holy Ghost can cause those feelings. As for glossing over, there is no glossing over the answers are there perhaps the missionaries don't know them all but they are there. Joseph Smith used the Urim and Thummin to translate the same stones used by ancient prophets as well. Anyone who reads the Book of Mormon with real intent and desires to know will come to know that it is the word of God. Sadly many don't care or want to know. It is foolishness unto them. From the Book of Mormon we read, "O that cunning plan of the evil one! O the vainness, and the frailties, and the foolishness of men! When they are learned they think they are wise, and they hearken not unto the counsel of God, for they set it aside, supposing they know of themselves, wherefore, their wisdom is foolishness and it profiteth them not. And they shall perish."(2Nephi9:28)

Anonymous said...

...one part is true..you do desire to know the workings of this church, and you seem to be interested in religion..if you were not, then why would you even care.
I bet a lot of kids wished they had decent folks say nice things about them...man I bet a lot of people wished they had good parents..what do you have to complain about, I saw nothing in that letter that offended me.

Philadelphia said...

I don't think it is wrong to post a patriarchal blessing on line. In fact it can be good for referencing since they can be difficult to keep in good condition over time. I have also posted mine and have actually fulfilled my expectations. I think filling the requirements of a patriarchal blessing are the most difficult and challenging things members can do, this is why they make the Church so great. Mine is posted at http://mormonphiladelphiatemplexv.blogspot.com/. Without a doubt fulfilling the obligations in this blessing was the most challenging thing in my life. The mission program I sent listed after this blessing is likely responsible for over 100,000 baptisms over the past few years and millions of family history work names, now they are building a temple in Philadelphia where I had a vision of Christ about 13 years ago helping me out with my mission obligations. Just remember it is still yours and you are really the only person who can translate it, others may try but they will likely miss things because they don't carry it with them all their lives.

Anonymous said...

I must say some things people are writing on here is for lack of better word... BULL... if you chose to believe in something who are any of you to say anything about it... as far as posting yours on here, i was in shock that you did something like that.

I was a mormon my entire life but I fell away for 9 years and last year I decided to start going back to church and realized such a drastic change in my life for the better!

I cannot believe this website exists and it just makes me sad!!

Anonymous said...

How do I join Mormonia?
I'd like to have as many wives I can...trash the book... idont care about the mormon ..just GIVE THE WIVES!!!!!